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What not to do when you are trying to get back with your ex

Heartbreaks and breakups are one of the most heart-wrenching things. The loss is just as same as the death of a family member. Moreover, the pain becomes even more if the separation is from the other side. The whole experience of a breakup is very traumatic and depressing. The level of dopamine and oxytocin reduces; the same hormones whose secretions are increased when the person is in love or happy. Coping with separation is very challenging and cruel. There are days that don’t seem like an ending, and you have to bear all the pain silently. Some people lose their emotional control and start behaving very irrationally. They can’t think logically and make immature decisions like lashing out at their ex, calling them repeatedly, blaming them for the breakup, etc. If you are coping with a breakup and doing the same things, you need to stop. In fact, you need to be very mindful during this time and take the proper steps toward the whole scenario if your idea is to get back with your ex. In this guide, rather than telling you what to do, we will specifically tell you what not to do to get back into a relationship with your ex. 

Warning: If your relationship was toxic, or if your ex was abusive and there was no good thing left in the bond, please don’t seek ways to get back with your ex. Instead, move on, give yourself time and heal as the better person is waiting for you with better intentions. 

Don’t stalk them

The one thing everyone will be guilty of doing after a breakup is to stalk their ex. We totally understand your emotion in this. There is a sudden urge in every one of us to see what our ex is up to. How are they coping with the whole thing? Are they happy, and unfortunately, if they are, that becomes even more torturing to see? That is why it’s a pretty bad idea to keep updates on your ex. Let there be a healthy distance between you two. Don’t keep their track of activities, don’t watch their stories, and don’t even stalk their locations or what they are doing. Trust us; you will hurt yourself more this way.

Don’t call them immediately after the breakup

Not every relationship ends on bad terms; some just fall apart. But irrespective of the fact of how your ex treated you in the end, don’t call them immediately after the separation; after all, they chose to be this way. Take your time; you both have a lot of mixed feelings and submissive anger towards each other, which can be displaced in many wrong ways just after the breakup. Moreover, don’t text or face time them and lash out about how they have made your life hell. There is no way that they will feel bad on their path and get back into the relationship. This will instead push them away, and they will confirm on the fact that leaving you was the correct decision. After all, who wants an unhappy person around, right?

Don’t indulge in ill activities

One of the main things youngsters and adults do after a breakup is making their lives worse by getting involved in activities like drinking, gambling, hook-ups, fast driving, etc. All these activities divert the mind from the breakup but contribute nothing positive towards your life. As an adult, you need to take charge of your life and make it better, whether with or without your partner. Shortcuts that relax your mind might initially feel good but negatively impact you later in life. It’s better if you sublimate that same energy into improving yourself so that when your ex sees you after some time, she notices a better man who has made his life better after her. That will incorporate a sense of regret, and she will feel like she lost a good man. 


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